Becky's Nook

Successful people have always had clear, focused goals that guide them to greatness.

It took Thomas Edison thousands of attempts and thousands of failures over many years to invent the electric light bulb, but he new exactly what he wanted, and his goal kept him going until he achieved it The rest, as they say, is history.

Michelle Kwan had a goal to be the best skater in the world. Oprah Winfrey was an abused child who determined to make a better life for herself.

Successful people always have clear goals. Great musicians, great athletes, successful salespeople and inspiring leaders know what they want in life, and they go after it. Great parents work at it. No one becomes an astronaut by accident!

And yet the great bulk of people continue to drift through life with no goals at all, or with only vague dreams, hopes and wishes. No wonder we achieve so much less than we could!

For those who have not yet experienced the joy of setting and achieving magnificent goals, here is a powerful set of principles that have worked for thousands of my clients. They will work for you, too. I call them The 4 Steps to Successful Goal-Setting:

1. Decide what you want. Decide if you would rather have money in the bank, or that new car. Choose the life you prefer! You can’t have everything in life; but you can have anything you choose, if you will focus, pay the price, and pursue it with all your heart.

2. Clarify your values. Too often, people choose goals that are inconsistent with their priorities and daily behaviors. Do you value health, or comfort? Is financial independence a priority, or merely a wish? In a clash between your values and your wishes, your values will win every time. Be certain your goals are consistent with your most important values.

3. Write them down! Have the courage to put your intentions on paper, in your own words. Be specific and describe your goals in detail. When will you achieve them? What will success look like? Write down the details and read your goals every day, even take a moment to summarize them every morning. Stay focused.

4. Take ACTION! To run a marathon, you must jog every day. Building a business requires that you make sales, every day. A loving marriage or happy kids require your time, your attention and your love, every day. Your daily actions need not be profound or heroic, but they must be consistent and persistent. Every day!

Success does not “just happen”. It is built like a work of art. First, it is imagined, then the skills, tools and materials are gathered, and the artist sets about creating a thing of beauty. It takes time. It requires skill, determination, persistence and faith.

Just as an artist will make preliminary sketches and work out the details in her mind, so your success requires written goals, careful choices, clear commitments and daily persistence. You can do this. Make something magnificent of your life!

Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity.
But you have to act on them if you’re going to be successful.

Distant pastures always look greener than those close at hand, but real opportunities are right where you are.
You must simply take advantage of them when they appear.
You can start where you are at any time.

Success is all around you.
It’s not in your environment, it’s not in luck or chance, or in the help of others.
Success is in yourself alone.

You don’t need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity.
What you need is to use what you have.
Learn to seize good fortune, for it is always around you.

You must go to success, it doesn’t come to you.
Open your own doors to opportunity.

“You are the person who has to decide. Whether you’ll do it or toss it aside; You are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you’ll lead or will linger behind. Whether you’ll try for the goal that’s afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are.”

Edgar A Guest

By Lisa Kitter Combs

If you’re thinking “Hmmm, I’m not sure whether I’m an empowered woman or not” chances are…you’re close and don’t even realize it yet! Most women would probably say that they are not an empowered woman. There was a time when I definitely wasn’t empowered at all!

What exactly is an empowered woman? Let’s bullet point what my definition of an empowered woman is and we’ll see if you agree, okay?

An Empowered Woman is…

Confident
Vibrant
Mentally Strong
Healthy
Loved (by self and others)
Committed
Respected
Sincere
Appreciated
Courageous (Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway!)

Do you agree with my definition? Believe me, I could have gone on and on! I think about being and assisting others to become empowered women and I get so…excited! I get excited because it truly is wonderful to see women feel good about whom they are and what they’re achieving. An empowered woman is a beautiful woman!

Take a look at my bullet points above. When was the last time you felt any or all of the items listed? Why? Better yet, why not? Okay, grab a piece of paper and run through the list once more. As you review each item please make a note by each one of the bulleted points, date you last felt this way and why you felt that way. What had occurred?

I’ll give you an example:

Confident: I last felt confident on 12/15/00. I felt confident because I met a financial goal I had set for myself and because the gorgeous red dress I bought last year still fit me!

Vibrant: I feel vibrant right now. I feel vibrant because I ran 3 miles this morning and did it in record time!

How did you do with this exercise? Were you able to give examples for each point? Did you have to think long and hard for answers to some or all of the points?

Becoming an empowered woman takes practice. It also takes a conscious effort on your part, especially if you’ve gone for some time feeling less than empowered. Feeling empowered is important but believing you’re empowered is the real key to unleashing your full potential.

What are your beliefs about success? How about your beliefs about money, happiness, and personal fulfillment? Do you believe that you’re capable of achieving your hearts desire? Do you believe you deserve to achieve your dreams and goals?

Your personal beliefs are so important. Remember the great quote by Napoleon Hill? “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” Wow! Is that powerful or what? Do you truly believe that you are ready to become an empowered woman?

This is a quote that I love because it says everything of a person.  Our life will be what we want of it once we open our eyes and our mind to focus on the good rather than the bad in life.

When a person is full of negative thoughts they will attract negativity in their life.  Its like when you are focusing on the lack of money and all the bills that are coming in…  You go to your mail box and what do you find but more bills?  However, you shift your focus to begin thinking more positive and thinking of the money that will be coming in and how you can get more money coming in you soon find checks in your mail box vs all the bills.

We must always be alert to our thoughts and maintain a positive life.  This is something that I’ve personally worked on for the past 4 years and I love how it makes me feel.  I no longer focus on problems, my focus is now on the solutions because first of all there is a solution for every  problem.  It just depends on how you choose to look at it.

So, the next time something negative creeps into your thoughts, I encourage you to focus on the solution and the positive of that thought.

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

Author~Unknown

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

“Be careful what you say. It Happens. Instead of saying what you do not want
to happen, begin today proclaiming what you do want to happen. Start with the
affirmation I am giving you here. Then go on to create your own personalized
version.”

THIS DAY

This day, I thankfully accept all of the good things that are coming my way.
This day is full of excitement, love, energy, health, and prosperity. This day,
people are calling on me to be of service to them and I respond by giving
my very best.

This day, I think and practice health in my life, refusing to accept anything
less than perfect health. This day, I accept the abundance and prosperity that
is mine and willing share it with others.

This day, I focus on the moment and give no thought to the past or the future.
This day, I spend in total enjoyment of what I do. This day, I fill with loving
thoughts and actions toward all other people and myself. This day, I spend in
grateful appreciation of all that is mine. This day, this hour, this minute,
this moment is all that I have and I choose to use it in celebration!

“I have personally used this affirmation for many years. I read it to myself daily.

When my mind forgets to focus on the right things and doubts creep in, I read it
several times a day. If this affirmation does not seem to fit your style, then
write your own. Say the things you need to hear to help create the life you want.”

I see new members of business message boards every day conveniently forgetting to make an introduction post and immediately finding their way over to the “post your ad” section, posting their ads and disappearing.  And these people call this socializing and networking with others?

Of course they do. They explicitly fall short of knowing the first thing about business networking. They think if you say “hi, how are you?” to a few people on the forums, that it’s forum networking. It takes a lot more than a few times of saying “hi, how are you?” to properly socialize and get to know others on a public business forum.

To truly network with other work at home professionals, you need to genuinely get to know them, exchange ideas, marketing strategies, tips, and advice with them on a regular basis, (if possible, daily.) It’s substantially competitive in the work at home industry, therefore, you need to stand out above all the other marketers online. Be unique, but be yourself, and consistently try new venues and strategies.

Then, as you are traveling through the work at home forums, take your time and be helpful to the other members. Show them you know the ropes and you definitely know what you’re talking about. And at the same time, you will be building on business relationships and friendships.

Below are the proper steps for networking and socializing on message boards

Step 1) Find and join message forums in your niche – It’s a good idea to take the time and read what the boards are all about before hastily signing up. Look for the ones that will benefit you the most and are relevant to your interests and profession.

Step 2) Fill out your profile – Take the time to fill out your profile on each board using your real name. Include your location, your website, and also a little bit about yourself.

Step 3) Forum rules and guidelines – This is the most important step of all if it is your desire to establish a good reputation. Most forums today have made it a rule to make an introduction post and sometimes a specific amount of quality posts BEFORE being able to post in the ad sections. Some board owners don’t even have a “post your ad” section, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The majority of the members are there to gain information and knowledge in a certain area or niche.

Step 4) Your signature and rules – It’s important to take the time to determine if the community allows a signature, and if so, read the rules and tweak your signature accordingly. Most forums do allow signatures. However, refrain from having a long list of links, a brief signature with two, (three at the most) links is key. Most members will shy away from people that have a ton of web links to click on, as they are distracting.

Step 5) Introduction post – Make sure that your very first post is your introduction post, no ads or links, just a nice introduction and share a few things about yourself. Most people enjoy reading about what the other members are all about.

Step 6) Proper Networking -  Business networking online is showing a genuine interest in others and what they can teach you, along with tips and advice. You then, share the same with other professionals. Share your best tips, strategies, and techniques on marketing, networking, and making money. You will be properly branding yourself.  By doing this, others will see you as a professional in your field and be more inclined to purchase from you or try out your product. This is vital to your home business and your success. You need to continuously build on that trust and credibility. And spamming ads all over the boards will not accomplish this.

If you are going to market yourself on forum boards, at least learn to do it in the proper way. By taking the time to learn the correct way to socialize with other home business entrepreneurs, you are doing yourself an enormous favor, and thus, you are sure to reap a vast array of benefits.

Here’s to your Success!

If you think you’re beaten, you are; if you think you dare not, you don’t;
If you’d like to win, but think you can’t, it’s almost a cinch you won’t.
If you think you will lose, you’re lost; for out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will, it’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are; You’ve got to think high to rise.
You’ve got to hustle before you can ever win a prize. Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins is the one who thinks he can.

-ANONYMOUS